Disclaimer: I'm not a plant killer, but I'm surrounded by them. They lurk around every corner of my life, destroying each plant they touch with their yellow thumbs and hiding their regretful mistakes behind guilty smiles. But plant killers aren't evil. They don't have the intent to destroy. On the contrary, they try very hard to sustain life. It's like a tragic real-life King Midas situation.
I have plenty of funny horror stories to share with you, such as the time when my sister babysat a fern and left it in the sun. She came back to crispy fern chips because the heat literally fried it. There isn't much to say about faux plants, so I'll sprinkle these horror stories throughout. You'll find where I buy all my plants at the bottom of the post, but I can't imagine why you'd skip all my fantastic stories to get to the point... 😂 Jk, I'll sprinkle them throughout the post as well. I love you guys.
Okay, let's get started with the formalities. Why did I get faux plants if I'm not a plant killer? Simple: it's less work. In fact, there's almost no work involved at all. You just unwrap the plants from its packaging and stick it in a planter. There's no need to put it in the sun everyday and worry about it when you're gone. It's like having a stuffed animal rather than an actual pet; you get to take cute photos with it and not worry about feeding it or taking it to go poo. You get the point.
I take pride in my fake plants because they've been nothing but a joy to work with. If you're a plant killer, take pride in buying faux plants. You're helping the planet by killing one less living organism. Alright, so let's talk about which faux plants look best for your space. If you have a modern bohemian space like mine, then hanging plants and succulents will do just fine. Also, don't forget about the much-loved fiddle leaf fig!
I got my beautiful fiddle leaf fig from Target and my potted monstera from Michaels, although I can't find it on Michael's website :/. The fiddle leaf is still at Target, though! I highly recommend!!
If you prefer a more sleek look, I'd recommend these faux plants:
My mom is actually a natural-born plant killer, but through sheer determination, she overcame her curse and now gardens for fun. Her roots began as a child. She tried to grow some veggies but it wouldn't sprout, even in the rich tropical soil of Vietnam. Her stepmother tried to grow the same vegetables and it sprouted right away. They had enough of a harvest to make several pickled dishes. Being the curious child that she was, my mom reached inside one of the pickling jars for a taste of the vegetables and yes, it spoiled the very next day. Those veggies died twice.
If shaggy/jungly is your thing, give these charming guys a try:
My dad was an agricultural engineer in Vietnam (a fancy farmer, if you will). It was actually hard for plants to not grow on his watch. He was a beast at farming. So, naturally, many businessmen from overseas would contact him for consultations and farming projects. Once, two men from China insisted that my dad would teach them how to grow a mysterious herb. They said that the herb required such meticulous care that it was impossible for them to grow on their own. My dad took up the challenge and before long, we had acres of those mysterious plants sprouting on our soil. Well, it turned out to be weed, and my dad dropped the project as soon as he found out. Someone else bought the land from us and managed to kill all the sprouts within a matter of weeks. LOL! The ultimate plant killer.
Well, that's all I have for you today! I hope you enjoyed the photos, stories, and plant recommendations :). Take pride in your faux plants! Until next time ❤